Text chat with sexy girls on facebook
Little wonder his jaw fell to the floor when his wife hit him with the news that his internet 'conquest' was actually her, furiously tapping into her own laptop and raging as she read his suggestive responses.
Then she asked Simon if he wanted to be her 'friend'. 'I posed as a 21-year-old blonde bimbo, so I had to have the language to match,' she explains.
His replies to his newfound Facebook 'friend' were flirtatious from the off, and culminated in crude sexual suggestions.
At several points he tried to arrange a meeting with his young admirer, clearly expecting a sexual encounter.
There is a surprising reason for her less-than-mature terminology, though.
She confesses that she spent the final months of their marriage perfecting her 'teen speak', as she turned online detective to establish if he was being unfaithful.